Awww, come on guys, I should never have mentioned beer and fish. Lucky I didn't mention Elle.
OK, forget the points and questions 1, (probably correct there Stephen) and 5. Any comments on questions 2, 3 and 4?
This bloke's been stranded on an Island for 2 years. In the distance he sees a raft and swims out to it and drags it back to shore. Elle McPherson is lying supine on the raft dressed in a clinging wetsuit. She is not breathing. The bloke immediately starts mouth to mouth and after several tense minutes, Elle splutters and comes to life. "Oh my God, where am I?" she asks. "You have washed up here on this deserted island" replies the fella, "Iv'e been here for two years!". "That's terrible! How have you survived?". "Well, I catch the occasional fish and eat a lot of coconuts, dig a few yams and whatever else I can get" he replies. " Well", she says, "I have some supplies on me; would you like a cigarette?". "Oh", he says, "that would be unreal, I only had one packet when I landed here and they only lasted a day". She undoes a sealed pocket in the wetsuitand hands him a dry packet and a lighter. He lights up the smoke and takes a deep drag. The only thing he can say as he exhales is "Heavenly, absolutely heavenly". "How about a beer?" she asks, "there's two left that have been kept cold in the water". She undoes the side pocket in the wetsuit and hands over a beer. "Cheers", he says as he cracks open the cold tinnie that she passes to him. He can't believe his luck. A smoke and a beer after all this time! While he is considering his good fortune, Elle says to him, "You know, if you hadn't have saved me, I'd be dead by now. I really owe you my life and I want to repay you". With this she turns to face him and seductively starts to undo the main zipper of the wetsuit, whispering, "would you like to play around?". "COME OFF IT!", he says, "don't tell me you've got a set of GOLF CLUBS in there!".
Now can I get some serious answers?
reply »